What I Hate About Australia

By on May 1, 2011 in Australia

Don’t get me wrong–I love Australia. I had an incredible time navigating that country and I wouldn’t give that up for anything. Read any of my other posts and you’ll see how much I truly love the place. However, having spent a full year there, there were some things that began to wear on me. Spend enough time in any place and you’re bound to find some things that irk you.

Western Influence

When I left the States I was under the impression that I would be traveling through unknown territory, visiting untouched beaches and experiencing a way of life that I could never dream of. Unfortunately, for the most part, I was sorely mistaken. Australia has a very evident Western influence that I just wasn’t expecting. There are still fast food restaurants on every corner, high-end stores in every city and most people know what Jersey Shore is (although, who doesn’t, these days). I had high hopes of coming to Australia, not only to learn things, but to share things! Maybe that’s just the American in me, but they already had those bases covered.

A "Real" Aussie

A “Real” Aussie

There aren’t any Aussies

Within the backpacking circuit, at least. The first leg of my trip was up the east cost of Australia, from Sydney to Cairns. The only Aussies that I met either worked at the hostels or sat behind the counter at the bottle-shop. I met a lot of English (oh, so many English), Germans, Swedes and Canadians. Everybody’s backpacking and none of them are Australian.

Everybody’s doing it

This is my biggest gripe. There are heaps and heaps of backpackers. I thought I was going to be backpacking all by myself, hitch-hiking, getting stuck in the mud, experiencing things on my own and ending up in random places with random Aussies. What I found, instead, is that I was making friends at every stop, taking showers regularly and ending up in strange places with (very) strange English people! Americans are so focused on education and careers that none of us even think to go traveling, hence why you won’t find too many of us anywhere else in the world. Apparently, lots of people travel. And a lot of them come here.

Bogens

OK, this might come off as a little racist or at least very non-PC, but let me explain. Australians, as a whole, are some of the nicest people I’ve ever met. They are more than willing to go out of their way just to help a brother out, taking time out of their day to make sure I, a complete stranger, get myself sorted. They are a kind bunch who, more often than not, just want to lend a hand or say hello. Now, that being said, I’ve had more than a few run-ins with some far less than savory people. Sure, you’ll find people like this in any country, but the Australians bring a whole new level of intensity to it. For no other reason than being in the right place at the wrong time, I’ve had beer bottles thrown at my head, been threatened to have someone “knock the teeth out of my skull,” or just had someone ready to “smash” me because they “didn’t like the way my friend was looking at them.” Anybody who knows me will probably say, “Jeremy, you must have done something to provoke them.” No, mate, I didn’t. Whether it’s standing in line at the kebab shop or sitting at a table outside of work, there’s a certain type of Aussie who just wants to bash you.

The women (well, I don’t hate them)

I think Americans have this idea that Aussie girls are wild and crazy sultresses who are just looking for a good time (or maybe it was just me, hoping). What I discovered was the exact opposite–they’re actually pretty tame! My university was listed in the top ten party schools in America, so maybe I’m a bit disillusioned about what a “party” is but, to be honest, they just don’t stack up. Maybe others had a different experience (or maybe my best years are behind me!), but I’ve even had this conversation with other Aussies, and they’re the ones who can’t wait to get to Silicon Valley.

Money

The money in Australia is weird. It has see-through, plastic window panes in each bill, all of which are painted funny rainbow colors. The two dollar coins are smaller than the one dollar coins and the fifty-cent coins are bigger than the one dollar coins. On top of that, $50′s are exchanged like $20′s (USD) because everything is just so expensive. And everything at the store ends in ’9′ but they don’t make one cent coins to provide me with my change. I want my cent back!

Ease of Access

When I found out that Greyhound ran a hop-on-hop-off bus service I thought I had hit the transport jackpot! “This is amazing! I’ve found a hidden gem.” False. In actuality, Australia is just plain easy to travel. There are guided tours on every corner, ready to take you to the Blue Mountains or Kakadu National Park. Pay money, get on a bus, wait, get off. Pay more money, get on a boat, wait, get off. I haven’t had too many ‘real adventures,’ if you know what I mean. I’ve seen heaps of truly remarkable things, but how many life-changing, out-of-my-comfort-zone experiences have I had? Not as many as I thought I would–because sometimes it feels like all you’re doing is moving from one place to another.

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About the Author: Jeremy Foster

Born in America, Jeremy, an IT specialist by trade, packed up his belongings and left home on an open-ended trip to Australia. Years later, he's still on the move and exploring other countries. He is now a mobile cocktail bartender and the head writer for travelFREAK! You can usually find him on either side of the bar, acting wanky and pretentious about booze.

  • http://turkishtravelblog.com Natalie – Turkish travel

    See you have met us very strange English people then!! We are strange.I would much prefer to be Australian or American.

    • Anonymous

      Well my guess is that a lot of Australians or Americans might say they’d rather be English!

  • http://twitter.com/DangerousBiz Amanda Williams

    I’d say the thing I hated most about OZ was that everything was so expensive! When I was there (and now, too), the US doller and Australian dollar were pretty close in exchange rates. But things were WAY more expensive (especially food) in OZ than in the US.

    • Anonymous

      See, I lucked out! When I went to Australia the exchange rate was in my favor, and when I left to NZ it was in my favor again! But you’re right, it’s super expensive and it really does add up.

  • http://2girls1journey.com 2girls1journey

    I totally agree with Amanda, OZ is absolutely expensive right now! We were supposed to go there instead of NZ, but their sky-rocketing dollar hits the tourists so badly. Btw, nice post Jeremy!

    • Anonymous

      Thanks! I think it almost evens itself out because some things are even more expensive in New Zealand. The main issue seems to be with wages. Because they’re so low, every dollar becomes a little bit more valuable.

  • http://twitter.com/purplekat99 Becs

    Seriously, Australia is like the most American country outside the US. Even more so then Canada, I think!

    If you want to experience “real” Australia and meet real Aussies, I highly recommend the WHV.

    And the East Coast Backpackers Bullshit tour? Nothing new at all.

    I loved the “paper” money! It’s plastic, so you can swim with it and it won’t get ruined:-).

    • Anonymous

      Yeah, very American indeed. I was shocked. Luckily I didn’t have a time schedule so I got a Working Holiday Visa and spent a year there. The money is hilarious, but the New Zealand bills are even more ridiculous!

  • Australian

    Time to write that blog “Why I hate whining American tourists!”

    • http://www.travelfreak.net Jeremy

      Haha fair play! I wish you would!

  • Rich

    It’s generally spelt Bogans, not Bogens.

    And yeah, Australia has lots of them :(

    • http://www.travelfreak.net Jeremy Foster

      Tough break. Thanks for the correction!

  • flyingfraggle

    Loved your post, very interesting to an Aussie who has done plenty of international travel. Have to say I’m glad Aussie women aren’t as party crazy as you heard, seeing as I’m one of them.

    Bogans have got a bad rap over the years. Generally in WA, they are described as those who are into V8 cars and AC/DC. Those unsavoury people you described unfortunately represent our rather large contingent of Australians with alcohol problems (bogans and non-bogans)…and sadly it is getting worse.

    As for a true Aussie outback adventure, to experience what I feel you were after, you really needed to follow the example of many others: buy a run-down two wheel drive camper van and take it into some of the remote areas like the Kimberley or Pilbara and attempt to drive it down some rarely used 4WD-only roads. Although that would be a dangerous and foolish thing to do, of course :) Even the bitumen in one of those things can be enough of a challenge :)

    • http://www.travelfreak.net Jeremy Foster

      Thanks for the comment. The bogan debate never seems to subside. It’s not a savory issue and it seems like there’s never a shortage of them.

      I was fortunate enough to spend a few weeks in the outback of Australia. I roamed the empty desert, climbed mountains and hiked through forests. I spent more than a year in Australia and it was one of my favorite parts!

  • Not an Aussie

    Correction – both Australia and America are British/European…not American. Sorry – but this is one of the worst American biased slanders on Australia I have ever read.

    Typical really.

    I hate all the typically American fish and chip shops, and pie shops, and British comedy on the tv…sooooo American!!!!

    Pretty much everything you wrote about here is your lack of knowledge about Australia rather than anything to actually do with Australia itself. It’s “tourists” with opinions like yours that end up dying by swimming in crocodile infested river ways and “hitch-hiking” through the outback.

    And I’m not Australian. By the way.

    • http://www.travelfreak.net Jeremy Foster

      Sorry, I don’t follow your argument…

      This isn’t a “slander piece,” either. It’s a list of just a few things I didn’t like about my experience in Australia! Go anywhere in the world, and there are bound to be things that irk you.

  • TooTrue

    Love this review. It’s all true. You’re right. Never mind the bogan replies (no surprises here)

  • laura

    Such a naive and stupid review of Australia. Its almost as if you were expecting a developing country. Yes Australians eat takeaway food, and have roads and public transport, and their money is far more advanced than most other paper currencies (waterproof, and can be cleaned, SO much better!!)

    You’ve travelled up the most popular tourist route in Australia, and are complaining about the tourists???

    Other one of your gripes being that you struggled to get laid.

    Seriously?

    It seems that if you had have researched Australia AT ALL before going you would not have had such inappropriately naive expectations. Probs best that people like you stay at home, you’re just giving Americans a bad name, like you say, there are very few of them around and this is how you represent your country.

    • http://www.travelfreak.net/ Jeremy Foster

      You make a valid point that I have no right to complain about the tourists when I am, in fact, one of them. It’s not fair, though, to attack someones pre-conceived notions, especially when they’ve been proven wrong and admitted to it.

      Of course I didn’t know what to expect when I arrived in Australia, but the time I spent there changed the way I think about it. I don’t think that’s giving Americans a bad name. In fact I think it’s doing the exact opposite. I’m highlighting the fact that traveling does genuinely broaden the mind, and that this American is happy to experience that.